


The Chain I Forged

by MissKiraBlue



Series: Holiday Fics [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: #LongHolidayforTheo, Alcohol (briefly), Charles Dickens - Freeform, Christmas AU, Depression, Draco centric, Everyone is precious, F/M, Family, Fluff, Friendship, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Inspired by A Christmas Carol, M/M, Redeemed Draco, Romance, holiday fic, mention of self–harm (very briefly), mention of suicide (very briefly), one–shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 17:59:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13105551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissKiraBlue/pseuds/MissKiraBlue
Summary: They say everything happens for a reason. They say destiny is in the making. They say there are no coincidences in life. They say one little act can change everything.He did not believe that first.Draco feels nothing since the war. His life is falling apart and he doesn't care. Until one night.Three spirits will visit him trying to show him a way where he can fix everything before it's too late.





	The Chain I Forged

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ THIS!
> 
> Hello, my adorable–evils!! I missed all of you so much!! *in Bill Cipher's voice* Oh, It's good to be back!!
> 
> Unfortunately, this is the only thing I can give you right now. (One-shots are hard and my original story still needs to be work with) So sorry.
> 
> Anyway, I love Christmas and because all of you are waiting for me so patiently and you are sweethearts I've decided to give you a gift.
> 
> I've noticed there are not many "A Christmas Carol" retellings – only parodies and cracks -, so I've decided to make a more serious yet fluffish one. 
> 
> Also, shout out to my sweetheart: kinky_kneazle who wrote a beautiful retelling of this magically perfect book, still staying faithful to the original. It's called "More of Hellebore Than of Hell (A Dickensian Tale)" Please read it, it doesn't get the love it deserves. 
> 
> Also, this work is still not betad, so if any of you would want to be my beta (because he/she pities me and is a sweetheart) Let me know down below in the comments. Sorry for the mistakes that may occur.
> 
> Also, if you new tell me what you think of this story. If you know me because of my other fic and you're one of my demons from "Make a Heaven out of Hell" then leave a comment my loves, let's chat again!
> 
> I hope you'll love this story as much as I do. Hugs and Kisses and Love all of you!!! Lots of Love!!
> 
> P.S. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone!!
> 
> P.S.S. Theo is my favorite. #LongHolidayforTheo after this XDDDD

**The Chain I Forged**

 

  
_“I wear the chain I_  
_forged in life... I made_  
_it link by_ link, _and yard_  
_by yard; I girded it on of my own free will,_  
_and of my own free will_  
_I wore it.”_  
– Charles Dickens _“A Christmas Carol”_

 

 

 

Lucius Malfoy was dead, to begin with.  
He was dead when Draco looked at his corpse in his coffin. He was dead when Pansy and Theo and some other people he didn’t know, gently dropped roses on his coffin, on his grave. People with black robes, with umbrellas and at first, Draco didn’t understand why.

  
  
But then he felt the raindrops on his face, on his hair.  
He heard the people’s footsteps behind him – as they walked away from the Manor’s cemetery. He felt some people’s hands on his shoulder – probably Theo or Pansy’s family who wasn’t in Azkaban.

 

Draco read all over and over, again and again, the epitaph but he couldn’t believe it. Lucius Malfoy was not a good husband and father.

 

He bit his bottom lip.

 

The whole thing was the biggest joke in the world. No one would miss _him_. No one _cared_.

 

_Not even me._

 

He was trembling, his hands were trembling. So why did he have these emotions? His father was a cruel man, who only thought of himself. So why?

 

Why did it feel, like he was about to burn?

 

Draco shut down his eyes and took a deep breath. Letting the cold rain fell on him, letting it to make him colder, to make the burn, the heavy feeling go away.

 

But it was useless. He was defenseless. He was something weak.

 

As he felt the familiar feeling of disgust creeping upon in him, he bowed his head and clenched his fists.

 

That was when Pansy nudged him on his shoulder.

 

Draco looked to his right, seeing Pansy’s confused, brown eyes, looking ahead. Draco followed it and he froze.

 

He was so shocked he couldn’t even move for a minute.

 

He saw the tall man looking around, stopping in front of Lucius Malfoy grave. Putting down a black rose.

 

Broad shoulders, emerald green eyes, messy black hair, glasses.

 

_What is Potter doing here?_

 

He looked at Pansy in alarm, but she just shrugged and looked more confused, as if that would be possible. She pointed at him with her chin, signing Draco to go over there. Draco felt himself stiffen, but he nodded and started walking towards him.

 

But as he arrived, he noticed that Potter was already looking at him, with a sad look on his face.

 

“What are you doing here?” Draco whispered in the most confused tone that existed.

 

Potter gave him a sad smile and looked at his father’s grave again.

 

“You know, I never liked him,” he started shaking his head, like if he didn’t believe what he’s about to say. “But he did everything he could do to protect the two of you. When I’ve heard about his funeral, I realized I pitied him. Because of Voldemort’s...” Draco flinched. “... side was his only choice.”

 

The blonde haired man clenched his fists again. Feeling the rain drown him.

 

“Pitied?” He almost spat out the word.

 

_There was nothing in this man that could’ve been pitied._

 

Potter nodded grimly. Some raindrops escaped from his deep black hair to his face, to his eyes.

 

“I owe your mother so much, I don’t know how I’m going to repay it, Malfoy.” He whispered and Draco almost recoiled because of the sudden change in his voice. “If she hadn’t told him that I died then...” He stopped for a minute, taking a deep breath. “I owe you too. When you pretended that you don’t know me. At the Manor.” He looked at him, dead in the eye and that was when Draco noticed something.

 

The man in front of him was half dead. Someone who was gripping his last chance of life as hard as he could.

 

At least that’s what his eyes looked like to Draco.

 

Potter always had interesting eyes, full of bright green and intensity. Those eyes always stirred something in him.

 

But now.

 

Draco didn’t feel anything. The only thing he felt was the cold rain that surrounded him, like a hurricane.

 

He didn’t know what was the most disappointing thing in all of that.

 

“Owe me?” He whispered with disgust and cold eyes. The rain made everything on him cold and he almost shivered. “You don’t owe me anything. You let alone my mother and me and if I ever catch you here again, I don’t care how powerful you are, I’ll end you.” His voice didn’t shake, but his whole being was trembling. “Even if that’s the last thing I’ll do.”

 

He turned around, started walking only to hear Potter’s voice again:

 

“That’s right! Run Draco Malfoy, like you, always do!” Draco didn’t look back, he just fastened his steps. “And here I thought, you are tired of being a coward.”

 

Draco stopped and looked back at him. The brightness of his green eyes faded. Like if nothing was there, to begin with.

 

_He’s always looking down at me. Like I am worthless. Like I need saving from being rotten like this._

 

_Don’t you dare looking down at me._

 

Draco made his eyes shine with malice and he knew if he was going to say this, then there’d be no coming back from wherever he was heading.

 

“No one wants your heroism Potter. All you want to do is to save people, but are you even capable of saving yourself?”

 

He saw Potter flinch and Draco smiled contentedly. It was a small win, but a win nevertheless.

 

As he walked out of the Manor’s Cemetery, feeling the rain on him, hearing his footsteps on the grass, looking up to the grey sky, he could feel nothing.

 

He didn’t know what was about to happen.

 

_They say everything happens for a reason. They say destiny is in the making. They say there are no coincidences in life. They say one little act can change everything._

 

_I did not believe that first._

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

  
“You should visit you mother.”

  
Draco winced out from his thoughts and looked up to Pansy, who was sitting in front of him, in the other armchair in the Manor.  
Her elegant, black dress was embracing her ankles. The wine in her hand was as red as her lips.

 

“You know I won’t.” Draco said apathetically and took a sip of his own wine. Feeling the sweet yet bitter taste, he let it flow in his insides. He heard the rain outside from the Manor and smiled a bit.

 

Pansy looked at him with those eyes again. He never knew what it meant. It was blasé and bleak but he didn’t know what it meant.

 

He didn’t feel anything from it.

 

Pansy didn’t stop. She never stops. “So what, you’ll never visit her–?”

 

Draco sent her a sharp, harsh look. “We’ve talked about this.”

 

Pansy looked at him with those eyes again and then suddenly looked around.

 

“I know you don’t decorate this black, depressive house but for Merlin’s beard Draco–”

 

He cut her voice with a sharp, intense look. “I won’t decorate. You know I hate–”

 

“Yule? Christmas?”

 

Draco wince and narrowed his eyes at her. “Yes.” He said curtly. “That.”

 

The mute air filled up the room, Draco only heard the rain. That was the only thing in the world right now.

 

“What do you know about Blaise?” Draco whispered the name with quiet rage. He took a sip again, thinking about why he needs to ask about him in the first place.

 

That man deserves nothing from him. From anyone on the matter.

 

Pansy looked at her right. “Nothing.” She whispered slowly.

 

Draco heard the clock’s ticking from the other room and he shut down his eyes. Feeling the calmness flow through him.

 

“What did Potter want?” Pansy asked with interest. Draco lifted up one of his eyebrows, it was surprising if Pansy sounded interested nowadays.

 

“Some idiotic hero actions with the whole saving the day business.” Draco mimicked every word childishly. “Like always.”

 

It was a big pause.

 

“He didn’t seem to be in a good shape.” He heard Pansy’s voice and he opened one of his eyes to look at her. She was watching him silently with a little, sad smile.

 

“You noticed?” Draco asked lightly.

 

Pansy nodded and twirled a hair. “He’s not talking to Granger nor Weasley. The last two aren’t talking to the other either.” Draco was so shocked he opened his other eye too. “Nobody saw them together since the War.”

 

Draco was perplexed. “What does this mean?”

 

Pansy shrugged. “That The Golden Trio is no more.” Her voice was hidden by something, Draco couldn’t quite catch. But he didn’t want to.

 

He took a big, thoughtful sip of his wine. Although he was smiling, he still didn’t feel anything at all. That smile was nothing. And somewhere in his heart – if he still had a heart –, he knew that this was not okay. That he was not okay, even though he didn’t know why.

 

He was smiling, hoping he could trick some people.

 

But when he looked at Pansy, who had the saddest look in her eyes when she looked at him, he knew he couldn’t fool her.

 

The only one he could trick, was himself.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Draco woke up in his master bed when the clock was striking midnight. After some minutes he knew why.

 

It was freezing, it was bitter cold.

 

He shivered and hugged himself, trying to make his body warmer. He looked around, but no window was open. He then stood up from his bed and walked to his chair, to put up the gown that was put on there. He was already feeling much warmer.

 

Draco let out a relieved sigh. “Much better.”

 

“Well, at least you’re having fun.”

 

Time freeze. His heart froze and it took a lifetime when he made himself turn around. Because he knew that voice. He _knew_ that voice.

But that was impossible.  _Impossible_.

 

Because the owner of that voice is...

 

“Dead? Son, if you’re deceased father’s ghost comes to visit you, you should make a better welcome, shouldn’t you?”

 

Draco turned around with a so loud heartbeat, he was afraid it would explode in his chest.

 

Then, he was paralyzed.

 

_It can’t be._

 

_It can’t. It can’t. It can’t._

 

But it was.

 

He saw his father. His long light – blonde hair, his grey eyes – like Draco’s – and for a moment he couldn’t breathe. Everything stopped and he didn’t know how could he make it go again.

 

He couldn’t even talk. “But you-you–”

 

“Died?” Lucius looked at himself, seeing his limpid, floating body, looking at his chains that hugged his form, his arms, and legs. “I did, but they kindly let me visit. Just this once.” He looked up at him again with a dry smile. “Be happy that I visited you and not your mother, I miss her already.”

 

Draco couldn’t process that. He felt like a gaping fish. In fact, he knew he sure looked like a gaping fish.

 

Lucius just looked at him and muttered:

 

“Indeed, we’ll have a lot of work to do.”

 

Draco swallowed and blinked strongly, even stung his arm but everything was real. He wasn’t dreaming.

 

This was real.

 

“How– I mean– what do you mean?” He stuttered. “Why are you here?”

 

Lucius looked around and then back at Draco again, with an unamused expression.

 

“I raised you in a way my parents did with me.” Lucius told him with a cold, bored voice. “You’ve become everything I dreamt and that’s disgraceful and terrible.”

 

Draco felt his heart stop. He paled.

 

“What?” He whispered without force, without anything.

 

“I know how wrong I was. How I ruined you. I see things more differently now.” Lucius whispered strongly and closed his eyes with pain. “I’m aware now what I did to you and I am deeply sorry.”

 

Draco couldn't move at all. This was just too surreal. Too

 

fake.

 

Suddenly he was seeing more clearly than ever, and he felt the rage in him burn, warming his body and shaking his hands.

 

“You’re not my father!” Draco said with a quivering voice. “I don’t know what is this trick, or who sent you but this is the poorest acting I’ve ever seen.”

 

Lucius paled and almost choked. “How dare you–”

 

Draco’s eyes flashed with wrath. “The real Lucius Malfoy would never think he was wrong. My father would never apologize either. Especially not to _me_.” He clenched his fists. “Before that, I admit, it was a pretty fascinating performance but now it’s just a fucking mess and definitely not funny.”

 

Lucius Malfoy smiled at him with no humor. It felt uneasy and real and Draco almost fell for it.

 

Almost.

 

“Do you think fool of me?” Lucius said with severe eyes. “Why would I bother to go back here if the whole thing was an act and a trick?” His eyes darkened with cold, sadness and experience. “You need to change Draco. Quickly, because from now on, it’ll only get worse and you’ll end up like me.” He raised up one of his arms, showing the chains that curled around it.

 

Draco felt the shiver run down his spine and he gathered up all his courage.

 

“What’s with this?” His voice trembled but he tried to hide it.

 

Lucius looked at himself, at every chain he had. “These are the chains I forged in life. They don’t ever come off.” He whispered. “Chains of punishment. For my sins.” Lucius looked at him with a determined look. “I won’t allow that you got them as well.”

 

Draco flinched and he was afraid to look at the old chains, so he looked into his father’s eyes again instead.

 

“It’s all because of me.” He whispered and came closer to Draco. He touched his right shoulder and the younger man felt the cold running down on him. Lucius looked at him, with his too and all-knowing eyes and Draco couldn’t look away.

 

“But now, I have the chance to make it right.” Lucius didn’t blink, his eyes were solemn and bright.

 

Everything was quiet – even the wind stopped – when his father said:

 

“I am sending you three spirits tonight. If you’re lucky, they’ll help you change your life.”

 

Draco felt the shiver creeping upon his neck.

 

Lucius let him go and turned around. “Listen to them Draco. Change and don’t make the same mistakes I did. Forget everything you know.” He stopped for a minute. “Expect the first spirit when the clock strikes one!”

 

Draco blinked and his father was gone. Vanished from existence. The cold was gone too, he felt the warmth again and he almost believed that the previous scene was all a trick, but then he remembered something.

 

Lucius touched his right shoulder.

 

Draco swallowed down the dryness in his throat.

 

His father never touched his left shoulder in all his life because he thought it’s a bad luck.

 

He always touched the right one.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

He didn’t sleep afterward, curious about the spirit – if it really were about to visit him – but when the clock was striking one, Draco winced in his seat and stood up from his chair.

 

He looked around, noticing that the rain stopped outside and snow started to fall from the dark sky. Some lamps glowed out in the night and Draco saw the big snowflakes dancing in the air.

 

There was suddenly cold again and Draco – shivering –, looked ahead to the middle of his room, seeing something appear.

 

Bright lights. Gold. Blinding.

 

He had to close his eyes for a moment. When he noticed that the light in front of him was lesser bright, he opened them and braced himself to look at his visitor, who was very much real.

 

Too real.

 

He felt the blood running out of his face.

 

It was barely a whisper be he couldn't say anything else.

 

“Fred Weasley?”

 

The red-haired young man smiled cunningly and bowed in front of Draco. He wore a golden cape with a hood on it. His body was limpid but glowed with stars and light.

 

“Haven’t thought about this, have you?” He smiled widely and looked at Draco. “You haven’t changed a bit, I can see that already.” He shook his head with disapproval. “After three years, you have the same aura, man–”

 

Draco raised his hand, begging for a break. “Wait a minute – how – is–?”

 

Fred Weasley did a turn and caressed his cape with his hands. “I’m the First of the Three Spirits.” He grinned childishly. “The Spirit of Christmas Past and you,” he caught Draco’s arm who gulped with wide eyes. “Are going to take a walk with me.”

 

And before Draco could do anything else, Fred Weasley put up his hood and twirled Draco around, vanishing into the white

abyss.

 

**––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

When Draco felt the ground beneath his limbs he dared to open his eyes. It took a couple of minutes to get used to the bright light – and Fred Weasley for the matter, who was next to him –, but when he did, he focused the scene that was in front of him.

 

_Are you kidding me?_

 

He bit his bottom lip with fury, feeling the bitter taste in his mouth.

 

This is getting better and _better_. How could he not anticipate this? It always comes back to him.

 

“Hello,” said the boy who was him many years ago, “Hogwarts too?”

 

“Yes,” said the young Harry Potter in the robe shop.

 

Draco bit his bottom lip, watching his younger self talking about his father. Bragging about him with a bored tone. Then he watched Potter, he could see it from here how the messy haired boy started to diverge from him slowly. His father’s influence showed in him and Draco was disgusted. That child in front of him was spoiled, a brat who didn’t know about a damn thing. He couldn’t blame Potter for not taking his hand. No.

 

_I blame him because he didn’t try again._

 

“Why are you showing this?” Draco asked with dullness. When Fred didn’t answer, he looked at him.

 

His eyes widened.

 

Fred Weasley smiled at the scene which was in front of him. Most precisely, at Potter. It was a blissful smile, brightened up his whole face.

 

“You know, you see him every day.” Fred’s eyes turned into sadness, the smile was still on his face though. “See them, everyday – my family.” He blinked once and shook his head lightly. “I don’t care what do you think about Harry, but you know the truth Malfoy. You know it in your stone cold heart and that’s what makes you so angry and miserable.”

 

“What?” Draco growled and gritted his teeth.

 

Fred looked back at him and Draco met his sharp yet warm eyes and he couldn’t help but start to think about Ron Weasley. If this calmness radiated from his eyes too, then maybe he could understand why Potter had chosen–

 

He bit his lips again.

 

_No, I don’t._

 

“You know – maybe the only one who knows – that he looks like if he’s...” Fred furrowed his brows. Draco could catch some of the conversations of the two children. “Like if he...”

 

“What?” Draco narrowed his eyes and Fred laughed a bit.

 

“I don’t know if Merlin ever existed, Malfoy. I don’t know if there’s a God out there, I truly don’t. But,” his smile was sad and hopeful at the same time and Draco froze on spot, “If there is, when I look at Harry I see him.”

 

Draco couldn’t blink when his heart felt like it stopped. He was not even sure if it did.

 

“It’s like, he always seems to bring the light, you know.” He whispers, looking back at Potter. “He can’t help it though, no normal person can see it – maybe feel it –, but a flagrant flame got tangled in his hair.” Fred looked at him in the corner of his eyes. “Something bright, something entirely else.”

 

Draco too, looked back at Potter, at his eyes and he felt something hit him in the chest. Like if the weight on his shoulders just had been lifted.

 

_Potter’s eyes._

 

Draco shut down his eyes because of the loud sound of his heart.

 

That was the thing that stirred him.

 

He noticed too.

 

What Fred noticed – he did too. That Potter was...

 

“You are angry because you want to have those eyes too. You’re angry because he didn’t accept your hand and now the only look you can get from him with those eyes are anger, disappointment, and disdain. ”

 

Fred’s voice was light, so quiet he almost thought he hadn’t said anything. But Draco heard it.

 

So he opened his eyes and looked at Fred again. The smile never left his face, he touched his golden hood again.

 

Before Draco could’ve said anything at all, Fred caught his arms and put on his hood. He looked deeply into Draco’s eyes.

 

“You were the first wizard of his age he ever met on that day.” He said with gold eyes and Draco felt the ground vanish beneath him.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

When he opened his eyes again, he noticed his ten – year – old self with Pansy and Blaise. They were at the manor talking about homework and the Golden Trio. Making fun of them. Also talking about Blaise’s mother’s new husband.

 

Draco narrowed his eyes at the dark-skinned man – even though he knew Blaise couldn’t see him or hear him –, he couldn’t help it. The anger was already filling up in him. He wanted to strike at something, break something–

 

“Why are you so mad at him, Malfoy?” He heard Fred’s voice next to him. Looking at his right, the wearer of the golden cape smiled at his friends. “You seem to have fun with him pretty good in the old days.”

 

Draco took a deep breath and shut down his eyes, not wanting to see the happy scene in front of him.

 

“After the war,” he started with a quivering voice, full of rage. “Blaise changed. He wanted to explore the world, wanted to do things he hasn’t done and when we said no – because everything was still fresh and nobody wanted us to even breathe –, he was out of himself.” Draco smiled bitterly, grimly. “He started shouting, that we are cowards – Pansy and I, even with Theo sometimes. That we are worthless. We are weak.” He pressed his lips together into a thin line. “After that, we never talked again. Sometimes we hear rumors about him, about where he is in the world, but that’s it.” He opened his eyes. “And that’s enough.”

 

After some silence, he took a look at the scene again, only noticing that it changed to something else. Memories were flashing by, quickly then slowly, stopping sometimes there or there.

 

He saw Granger, Weasley, and Potter. Walking down the halls. Eating with big grins on their faces. Facing with enemies, laughing, hugging after the battles, giving each other tips and advice. How their eyes lightened up when they saw the other. They were too strong. Their bond was too strong. It was something unique. That only they could have.

 

_Something that I–_

 

The memories changed. And Draco watched them with wide eyes. 

  
It was about him and Blaise.

 

How they met – how they hated each other at first. Blaise always tricked him, turning the little Draco’s hair into pink or some sparkly color, saying he almost looked like a girl. Draco always paid back those tricks, firing up Blaise’s robes, sticking him on a chair when he met the new husband of his mother.

  
  
How they became friends, defending each other, giving each other gifts, hugs. How they laughed about others or even themselves. Talking about their future, the other’s wedding, growing up, protecting each other’s backs.

 

Knowing that the other will always be there.

 

Draco didn’t know when his eyes started to sting. He didn’t know when his heart started to ache.

 

When he touched his cheek though, he could feel the tears. He was wiping away them, closing them in defeat and with

something deep. Sorrow.

 

He felt Fred’s hand on his shoulder. “There’s only one thing you need to see and then we’re done. Open them.”

 

Draco did.

 

He saw Pansy and Blaise and he flinched in surprise.

 

Their little smiles. Their little touches. Their quiet talks and hugs. It was clear in their eyes.

 

Draco’s chest ached again.

 

Especially in Pansy’s. How could he not see that?

 

Pansy always turns quiet whenever the topic is about Blaise.

 

His hands were shaking and Draco needed to take some air.

 

How could he miss that? How could he–?

 

_Because the only person you care about is yourself._

 

Draco felt disgusted and he almost bit his lips again, when a watch started to ring. He looked at Fred, who took out a little watch from his pocket and stared at it with furrowed brows.

 

“That’s the only time I have, Malfoy.” He whispered and put back the timekeeper. He turned to Draco and stretched out his hand.

 

Draco looked at it with his teary eyes, glowing grey and slowly took it. Fred gave him a heartwarming smile and touched his hood.

 

“I hope you’ll change, Draco.” The blonde haired man wince when he heard his name from the Weasley’s mouth for the first time. “Looking back now, I’ve always hoped you had a good heart under all those masks of yours.” He felt a twinge in his heart. “And if you’ll meet my brother George, tell him ‘mischief managed.”

 

Draco gave him a confused look but Fred just laughed.

 

“He’ll know, don’t worry. You’ll need it.” Fred put up his golden hood and twirled Draco again. “When the clock strikes two, the Present will find you!”

 

After that, Draco vanished and when he felt his bed beneath him, he fell asleep.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Draco woke up because of music. Which was very interesting because there was no one else who lived here beside him.

That’s what made him jump out of bed, facing a man who wore green robes. He only saw the intruder’s back but that was not enough to make him calm down.

 

In fact, he was very much in the biggest shock in his life.

 

The wearer of the green robes conducted the floating violins, cellos, horns, trumpets, pianos, harps, drums, guitars and bells, and those were so loud, Draco couldn’t hear his own heart or breathing. There were golden sparks and lights everywhere, music sheets, Christmas trees and mistletoes and Draco himself, almost fainted.

 

But before that could’ve happened, the conductor turned around to face him, quieting down the Christmas music.

 

Draco paled again. One would think he was getting used to this, but that would be an atrocious lie.

 

“Cedric Diggory?” He almost shouted.

 

Diggory smiled at him and looked at the instruments again, at the decorated walls. His green robes shone because of the movement.

 

“This place should need a couple of colors, pal,” he said with happy, glowing eyes, “and lights too. A big Christmas tree would be the best if you ask me. With red and gold ornaments–”

 

Draco was lost as ever. “What do you want?” His voice got quiet. “Are you the...”

 

Cedric beamed. “The Second of the Three Spirits, that is true.” He pointed at himself. “The Spirit of Christmas Present and we need to start walking Draco, otherwise I’m going to be late. In fact, I’m already late so we need to hurry.”

 

Draco wanted to ask what is the place where a ghost could be late, but Cedric gently caught his left arm, raised it and Draco could only see some green and red before the world vanished in front of him.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

He opened his eyes, just to look at Pansy and Theo who was in a restaurant, drinking hot chocolate. Some people already starting to head back at home, everywhere.  
He looked at Cedric who was smiling wholeheartedly at Pansy and at Theo too. Draco rolled his eyes in disbelief, but he wore a little smile too.

 

“You need to leave him Pans.” Theo said with such an honesty Draco was amazed. “You look devastated.”

 

Pansy touched her neck, feeling uncomfortable. “I can’t leave him and you know that.”

 

Draco lifted his eyebrows in surprise. Obviously, they were talking about him but this was still interesting.

 

The looked frustrated. “But you love Blaise, don’t you?” He asked earnestly.

 

Pansy looked at the mug in her hand. She was looking at the hot chocolate, the little steam that was floating above it.

 

“I do.” She whispered gently, then looked up with sever eyes. “But I love Draco too. Not in that way, but still love, Theo. I won’t leave him.”

 

Theodore fumed. “I loved him too Pans. Before he turned out to be a fucking asshole.” Draco winced painfully. “He doesn’t care about you enough. He doesn’t even ask how are you or something like that. He just shits on everyone, like he owns the world. Which I am pretty sure, he thinks he does–”

 

Pansy stopped him with her sharp eyes. “He has only me Theo. No one else. He’s not even visiting his mother at the hospital.” Pansy let out a heavy sigh and touched her forehead in defeat. “I don’t know what’s happening to him or why he’s like that but he’s important to me. I know that his other self – that we saw as kids – still in there. Somewhere.”

 

Theo stared at his own mug with thoughtfulness. “I hope he is Pans.” He smiled a little bit. “That side of him shone with something entirely else.”

 

Draco felt shivers running down his spine, hearing the same words he’s heard from Fred. It struck his heart, his head, his

whole being.

 

To them... his old self... was he like–

 

He felt Diggory’s hand on his shoulder and the world turned around.

 

 

–––––––––––––––––––––

 

 

  
He was at the Grimmauld place, that much he knew.  
He recognized the house, the walls, and furniture. He always came here with his family, visiting the Blacks. But...

 

Draco furrowed his brows and looked around in the dark house, just to see Cedric standing next to him, giving out a sad smile with sorrowful eyes.

 

“Why are we here?” Draco asked him slowly. “Who’s here?”

 

That was when he heard the knocking.

 

He immediately turned around to the sound’s direction only to feel someone walk through him – literally! He was horrified –, but then he saw the messy black hair.

 

Draco’s eyes widened.

 

Potter.

 

Of course.

 

He opened the door and Draco couldn’t see Potter’s face but the man who stood in front of him, he saw.

 

Snowflakes shone on Neville Longbottom’s blonde hair and on his coat as well, he smiled at Harry and hugged him with all of his heart.

 

“Good to see you!” Longbottom sighed with affection and Draco saw as Potter’s tense body started to calm down.

 

“You always say this.” Harry laughed a bit and hugged his friend back. After a minute, they stepped away and walked into the house, into the kitchen, sitting down at the table and started to talk about how things were going.

 

Draco looked at Diggory. He stared both of the men quite the time now, but at Harry, he stared more. It was grief, it was sadness but it was something else too.

 

Gratidude. Like if he was proud of him. Something bittersweet.

 

Draco couldn’t replace this feeling at all. He wasn’t proud of anyone and nobody was proud of him.

 

_Why would they? You’re the worse. You can’t do anything._

 

Draco winced because of his thoughts when he noticed how quiet everything was. He looked up, seeing Longbottom looking at Potter with gentle yet hard eyes. Like if he was waiting for something. Anything.

 

He saw Potter clench his jaw.

 

“I don’t know where they are and frankly, I don’t care.” Potter said bitterly and Draco recoiled a little.

 

It seemed like... Potter said the same thing that he said about–

 

Longbottom sighed heavily. “You need to stop this. All of you. There’s no reason to continue this childish behavior–”

 

Potter slapped his hand on the table with such a force, even Longbottom leaned back in his chair.

 

“You don’t even know what the fight was about.” Potter yelled. He yelled and Draco flinched and took a step back. “You don’t know how I feel, how I am and you don’t even know what’s going on in my head because of that fight!” Potter stood up and pointed at himself. “I’ve become nothing, you think I don’t know? You think I don’t notice the way my friends look at me? Like if I was a copy?” His shaking hands were sliding into his black hair. “But I can’t help it Neville. Everything I do is shit and worthless and I don’t know how I could make it better. I don’t know what to do, I can hardly wake up, walk, eat or do anything else.” He shouted and trembled and Draco brought his arms to his head, touching his own short curls because he felt something and– “I’m trying to do something, to seek out dangerous events, to save someone just to make this problem go away, thinking about something else but it doesn’t help!” His voice cracked and Draco winced. “I feel lonely and sad all the time and,” Potter pointed at his chest, where his heart lied, “ _this_ is so _empty_.” He laughed but there was nothing in it. His whole being was trembling by now. “I don’t feel anything and that eats me. so. much. you. can’t. even. imagine.” His shaking hands covered his face. “I am a fool.” He whispered. “He was right. How could I thought I was capable to save someone when I can’t even save myself?”

 

Draco paled and stood there, speechless. Watching as Neville walked towards Potter and hugged him. He looked away and tried to steady his breathing, to steady his heart which was beating in his ribcage loudly. So loudly.

 

He closed his eyes in pain and ran his hands through his hair. Potter–

 

_No._

 

He took a deep breath.

 

Harry just told what Draco had always been wanted to – he just said that–

 

He felt the same.

 

The same thing Draco felt in his everyday life and that made his heart ache with something new he couldn’t name of. He couldn’t even think about it. He could only think about how Harry and he were the same. Like mirrors.

 

Like two sides of the same coin and he almost fainted for the breathing was too hard to handle, and he felt a hand on his shoulder again, making his visions go blind and vanish him.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

He knew he was in Russia – in Moscow– the moment his feet was on the balcony. And although he didn't feel the cold, he could imagine it. Especially with those big snowflakes that are covered the houses and the ground. Looking down, Draco saw the people walking with big hats and coats. The lamps’ lights were glowing on them, on the streets and it was truly something unearthly about it.

 

Then someone sneezed next to him and he flinched. He thought it was Diggory, but he knew that Cedric was behind him with an all-knowing smile as always, so he turned to the voice’s direction finding himself looking at,

 

Blaise.

 

Draco, despite everything that happened, smiled when he saw his best friend on the balcony, crooning a fast song, drinking a coffee above the snowing sky.

 

_So that’s where you are._

 

Draco gave him an amused look. “Not bad Zabini.” He smiled. “Not bad.”

 

He saw him circling on his calendar. Days, months and a couple of years, but after that... nothing.

 

Draco furrowed his brows in incomprehension and turned to look at Cedric who smiled down sadly, to the walking people.

 

“Why does he do that?” Draco asked, almost demanded because there was not a single scene that he watched with Cedric and it was happy. So he tried to control his voice and asked again. “What’s up with Blaise? Why–”

 

Cedric didn’t hesitate.

 

“He doesn’t have much time left.”

 

Draco couldn’t move and everything freeze. There was no future, past or present at all. Like the only thing that existed was him and that wasn’t enough. He felt the pressure in his throat, in his organs and he didn’t know how could he feel such a cold when that’s impossible at the moment.

 

And even though he felt all this, he still said:

 

“You’re joking.” It was a weak mumble, nothing more. “He’s always been healthy. This is a joke, there’s no evidence that he–”

Oh, but it was.

 

_“...Blaise changed. He wanted to explore the world, wanted to do things he hasn’t done...”_

 

That’s why he wanted to do that. Because he– Blaise will–

 

He’s dying and he doesn’t have much time.

 

Draco felt the tears flowing down from his eyes, down on his face. He fell to his knees and let the tears flow. The sorrow, the pain painted him, making him majestic and melancholic.

 

Then he felt something warm and he realized he was pulled in for a hug and he automatically leaned in, accepting the warmth, hugging back immediately. He can’t remember when was the last time he was hugged and that made him wince and whimper a bit.

 

Cedric then caressed his back and whispered into his ear.

 

“The time has come, Draco,” he said gently, “Do me a favor. When you get back, tell Harry that it was not his fault and I’m proud of him, will you?” Draco – although he didn’t understand –, nodded and shut down his eyes. He felt Cedric smile. “Remember this; One moment can change a day. One day can change a life. Once life can change the world. Change Draco! Make me and Fred so happy our mouth will hurt because of smiling too much!” Cedric Diggory raised his hand. “The third will be quiet, be ready, he will come when everything is ready!”

 

Draco felt the magic and he let it take him to his bedroom, where he fell asleep again.

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

  
  
Someone touched his cheek and for the first time in this night, Draco woke up calmly. But when he looked at his visitor he felt his eyes widen.

 

“Headmaster?” Draco whispered and slowly stood up. “Are you The Last of the Spirits, sir? The Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come?”

Dumbledore nodded. “Who else did you expect, my dear boy?” He asked playfully with that special twinkle in his eyes. He stretched out his hand to Draco who stopped moving and looked at it with unease.

 

“I don’t know. I really don’t.” He said at last and then Dumbledore smiled at him, like if he knew. He knew everything.

 

“We’re all afraid to know many things.” He said gently. “That is why I will show you just some outcomes of the future. Some pictures and then it’s your turn, my boy.” He winked.

 

Draco looked at Dumbledore’s hand and then his old, ancient eyes again. “Will I like what I’m going to see?”

 

Dumbledore’s eyes filled up with something interesting. “You might not, but tell me, comfort and delight could make one change in a way that they see everything and everyone in a new way?”

 

Draco shook his head lightly and took Dumbledore’s hand with determination. Then everything faded.

 

  
**–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

It was dark and cold and he knew he was at Grimmauld Place.

 

Dumbledore still held his hand and gently escort him to the kitchen again. Draco looked at the old wizard, seeing his joyful eyes and he suddenly noticed the fear in himself.

 

He was going to see Harry.

 

His heart began to sting when Dumbledore suddenly stopped. Draco looked ahead, preparing himself for every possible...

 

He froze and he felt Dumbledore’s hold became stronger. He couldn’t look at him. He only looked at Harry who might have been in his thirties.

 

There were empty bottles everywhere. Half empty. Full bottles of alcohol and liquor. Draco recognized a few because of Goyle – who always drank too much on holidays –, but the important thing was clear. These were the heavy ones.

 

Those that could hurt someone’s magical core if they drink it in the long run.

 

Draco looked at Harry’s pale face, at his hair that looked like a nest – not in a good way. He’s got skinnier too and even with his shirt on, Draco could see his ribcage from here. He held a half-empty bottle in his hand and that was when he looked up.

 

Draco felt his heartbeat stop.

 

_No._

 

He felt tears pricking his eyes.

 

_No._

 

He gripped Dumbledore’s hand strong, afraid if he were to let go he’d fall to his knees.

 

 _No._  
There was nothing.

 

Nothing in those eyes.

 

“I can’t watch this.” The words were out of him before he even noticed. His hands were shaking.

 

There was no life in them, nothing bright that Draco used to enjoy to look at. Even when they’ve fought, something in those eyes always grabbed him and never let go and–

 

“Look at yourself.” He winced when Harry spoke up with his raspy voice. It was _nothing_ like him. _Nothing_. “Are you proud?”

 

“Don’t show me this.” He whispered with ragged voice. Pleaded.

 

Those words were so full of disgust and Harry can’t talk about himself like if he was–

 

“Are you proud of what have you become?” He whispered and threw the bottle and when it crashed on the wall, it flew in pieces. Draco flinched violently because of the sound and quickly moved his hands to protect himself from the scattered bits, despite the fact that he knew, nothing could touch him now.

 

He looked up through his hands and stared at Harry who was heavily breathing and then touched his head tiredly. He looked exhausted, too weak, too

 

_dead._

 

Draco noticed his heartbeat slow a bit. Oh.

 

He thought about how Harry ran a hand through his hair, the way his throat bobbed every time he took a drink, how he smiled, how he played Quidditch and fought – with fierceness and wildness, how he took a turn and walked and adjusted his robes with his hands. How his eyes lit up, how he drank his coffee, his tee, how his patronus flew, that brightness in him that got tangled in his hair, lighting a crown on his head and–

 

_Oh._

 

He rested his hand over his heart. _Oh._

 

So all this time–

 

_You were in love with him._

_Everything was quiet._

 

It was quiet when Draco stepped forward.

 

When he started to walk towards him slowly, hesitantly. When he was face to face with him, he touched Harry’s cheek and caressed it gently. Trying to help him, trying to make him feel something – feel something good, something warm –, because he felt a knife pierce him – through his chest.

 

He knew Harry couldn’t see him. He knew he couldn’t hear him. Couldn’t touch him.

 

But he can do this little for him.

 

_I can do it for him._

 

Even if it was all for nothing.

 

And when he noticed, he ran a thumb over Harry’s cheek, wiping away the tears, realizing it was useless and he would have been happy if it’d vanished.

 

“Come one, Draco.” He touched his shoulder. “There are places we need to be.”

 

Once again, the world vanished around and the only thing he could see, was Harry’s black eyes.

 

 

–– **–––––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Dumbledore showed him everything.

 

He saw how Granger and Weasley still didn’t talk to each other nor to Harry. He saw Pansy, crying in a dark room, shouting and screaming and she ran. Ran as fast as she could. Away from him, away from everyone.

 

Because–

 

Then the picture changed.

 

Draco fell to his knees. “No.” He whispered in a weak voice. “No, no, no, no...”

 

His mother committed suicide. She couldn’t take the loneliness, the loss of her husband. Draco never visited her.

 

The picture changed. It changed back to Pansy. She was at a funeral.

 

Draco’s breath hitched on his throat.

 

_Blaise._

 

_Blaise died._

 

“He can’t be saved?” Draco whispered more weekly than ever and looked at Dumbledore. The man’s got an interesting twinkle in his eyes and he waved his hand again, to show another picture.

 

Draco stared at it. It was in St. Mungo's. His eyes widened.

 

_That’s._

 

That was him. That Draco didn't stare at anything at all. He didn’t show any vital sign. He was paler than ever and–

 

That was–

 

Your corpse.

 

Draco noticed the cuts on his wrist and then he watched as time showed him more. How he was depressed – after his mother died, after Blaise died – how he wanted to change – even used some time turner – but it didn’t work. He knew it was too late, too late, too late...

 

He felt something heavy on him and he looked at his body.

 

There were chains.

 

_No._

 

The exact same chains that were on his father.

 

“No.” Draco shook his head and stood up with trembling legs. He turned around to see Dumbledore’s smile. “No, this can’t be the end.” He sounded desperate, broken and he tried to pull of the chains but it was no use.

 

The wind became stronger and Draco felt the snow wrapping him in a hurricane. He never left Dumbledore’s eyes. Not when the cold cut his body, not when he started to shout:

 

“I change!” He yelled with a quivering voice, with tears. “I swear I’ll change.”

 

The snow drowned him, fell on him endlessly and the last thing he heard Dumbledore say, was:

 

“Good Luck, my dear boy.” There were wind and cold and rain and snow and–

 

“It’s your turn.”

 

And then everything disappeared.

 

 

  
**––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

Draco woke up with a shout, suddenly blinded with bright white lights.  
It took him some minutes to get used to it and then he froze.

 

Light.

 

It was morning.

 

He looked down at the bed where he lied and then stood up. Draco’s eyes widened and he touched his face with shock. He started pacing up and down in his room.

 

He’s got another chance. He can make everyone’s lives better.

 

_An another chance._

 

“Merlin’s beard!” He shouted and then stopped to look at he windows. The snow fell heavily and Draco felt a big smile appear on his face. “Bloody hell!” He yelled so loud, a door opened behind him.

 

Draco saw his house elf, Relna, looking confused for the first time in her life and Draco smiled at her.

 

Relna’s eyes widened. “Is everything alright, Maste–?”

 

“What day is it?” Draco pointed at her excitedly. Relna recoiled with surprise and Draco grinned at her warmly. His eyes

 

lightened up with joy. “Is it Christmas?”

Relna nodded – too shocked to even say anything.

 

Draco laughed and twirled Relna around, who almost yelled out of terror. “I’ve got another chance! I can make things right!” He then stopped suddenly and let go of Relna. He ran a hand through his hair. “Oh my– it’s Christmas!” He started pacing again. Stay calm, there’s no need to panic. “I’ve got so much thing to do–”

 

And then.

 

He’s gotten an idea.

 

And he knew what to do.

 

He stopped and turned around to stare at Relna again, who looked up at him with her big eyes.

 

“Relna.” Draco smiled like a maniac. “You need to decorate this house as much as you can.” Then he started to dress up, quickly putting something on himself. “Take the highest Christmas tree – that you can find –, in the hall and put...” He smiled gently when he remembered Cedric Diggory’s words. “Some gold and red ornaments on it.”

 

When Draco noticed that Relna didn’t answer, he looked at her.

 

She was full of shock.

 

He smiled at her and then she paled. Even though Draco was sure, his smile didn’t look that insane.

 

“Make Christmas in this Manor.” When he was done with the dressing and put on his coat as well, he laughed again. Another chance! “When I’ll be back, I want to feel Christmas itself.”

 

And then he was gone.

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

  
“Draco Malfoy?” George Weasley blinked at him with his tired face and bed hair and Draco could only grin like a happy, fool, maniac.

 

George paled as if he has seen a ghost.

 

“Hi, George!” Draco smiled at him. “Merry Christmas!”

 

George also looked like as if he has been hit by a bus. “What in the hell are you doing here at five in the morn–?”

 

Draco waved his hand at him. He swore, he wanted to bring up slowly the topic but time was precious and–

 

“Where is Weasley?” He asked straight up.

 

George looked more confused. There were reindeer on his pajamas and Draco felt so normal – after meeting with the spirits – that this looked so regular, he smiled.

 

“Which Weasley?” George rubbed his eyes. “You know there’s more of my family–”

 

“And you know I’m talking about Ron.”

 

Draco didn’t know which of them were more surprised, but he was certain that George didn't expect that.

 

His eyes narrowed and he looked more awake than he had before. His red hair was flashing through the heavy falling snow.

 

“What do you want from him? Why do you care?” George’s eyes became clear.

 

Draco knew he mustn’t lie. Not to him. Not now. Time was a tricky thing and he didn’t want that outcome he saw.

 

If he wants to change things, he has to change himself. The way he thinks, the way he talks, the way he handles things.

 

Draco was not a fool to turn his head to the other direction and plug his ears. If he wants to change the future and change his soul as well, then,

 

He clenched his fists and took a deep breath.

 

_I show my light._

 

_I show that my shadows can vanish by the touch of the sun._

 

_I will show my light._

 

“Potter needs him.” Draco almost said Harry and that felt so wrong and so right at the same time. He shut down his eyes.

 

And after a couple of minutes, he opened them again.

 

George’s eyes were on him, not blinking, looking like if he tried to guess that this was the truth or not.

 

“I know.” He whispered softly but his body didn’t calm down, Draco could see that. “But I can’t tell you where he is. I don’t trust you.” His eyes hardened and he touched the door.

  
Draco felt the panic in him rise.

 

He can’t afford a no.

 

His breath hitched in his throat. He remembered Fred’s words.

 

_You’ll need it._

 

“Mischief managed.” Draco whispered and George stopped closing the door. He froze and paled and looked at Draco with big eyes filled up with shock.

 

“How do you know this?” He asked with panic in his voice. “From who?”

 

Draco clenched his fists again. Now or never.

 

“I had a strange dream yesterday.” He said hesitantly but loudly. “You’re brother was in it.” Draco shrugged. “He said I need to tell you this. I hope you do know what it means because I don’t.”

 

George had a strange look on his face that Draco couldn’t put anywhere. His eyes contained so much emotion with such a speed, Draco couldn’t follow. He straightened his back, preparing to be shout at or kicked or called a dirty liar but that didn’t come.

 

George just looked at him and Draco saw so much vulnerability he almost flinched.

 

“Is this the truth?” He asked quietly. “If you lie to me Malfoy, I swear–”

 

“You have my word.” He said earnestly. “If that’s not enough, we can make a vow.”

 

George’s eyes widened in surprise and then with something else. With that look again.

 

George Weasley then nodded and said:

 

“He’s in Romania with my brother, Charlie.” He said with a half smile. “I don’t know what is all of this but go. Save Harry.”

 

Draco felt so relieved and happy and grateful, he didn't think at all.

 

He hugged George Weasley who freeze on spot.

 

“Thank you!” Draco shouted. “I owe you a big one.”

 

And with that Draco let go of him, turned around and apparated to the next place on his list.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

The apparation was so loud, Draco felt it in his kidneys.

 

When he saw the door that led to the kitchen, he swung it open with a bang, barely noticing Theodore Nott’s jump of surprise.

 

“Hi Theo!” He grinned with outstretched hands.

 

Theo spat out his tea.

 

“What the fuck Draco?” He looked at the clock on the wall. “It’s six in the morning, holy mother of–”

 

“This is not the way to welcome your only friend Theodore!” Draco crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at Theo, like if he was scolding him. “Haven’t I taught you manners?”

 

Theo looked at him like if he was out of his mind. “You – how – is –”

 

Draco hushed him and Theo’s eyes widened in shock.

 

“Now, now,” he started. “We don’t have so much time you know, dress up.”

 

Theo was looking at him. He was still looking at him.

 

Still.

 

“What the fuck are you looking at?”

 

“You know, Pansy told me you’ll go crazy eventually,” Theo stared. “But I haven’t thought that it would be this soon.”

 

Draco furrowed his brows. “I’m not crazy, I’m dead serious. You need to dress up, I need your help.”

 

Theo furrowed his brows in incomprehension and stood up. “What for?” He grabbed a coat.

 

Draco looked at him with severe eyes. “You need to get me Weasley!”

 

“Of course– what?” Theo dropped the coat and raised his hand, asking a break. “Why do you need a Weasley? Wait– which Weasley?” He shut down his eyes for a moment. “Why me? What the hell Draco–?”

 

“Ron Weasley. He’s in Romania with his brother Charlie Weasley. I knew you have connections there, so please find him and get him.” Draco smiled widely and Theo recoiled again.

 

His friend was thoughtful for a moment.

 

“Well yeah, I could probably find him fast.” He bent down to grab his coat from the ground. “But why though? What’s your plan?”

 

Draco shrugged weakly. “I need to do something else in the meantime, so you need to do it,” he looked at him with glowing eyes. “...please?”

 

Theo was surprised at the last words so much, Draco was ashamed. So, he didn’t even say ‘please’ to his friends at all.

 

You were truly the worst.

 

“What are you going to do?” Theo asked him and put on his coat.

 

Draco adjusted his coat with his shaking hands and swallowed down the nervousness.

 

“What was needed to be done much earlier.” He said. “I’ll bring back Blaise. He’s family.”

 

Theo’s eyes changed so much in that moment. It was terrific.

 

Draco knew those eyes. He’s seen them in his childhood memories. Theo looked at him like he used to.

 

Like if he was made of

 

_hope._

 

“It was about damn time.” He smiled warmly at Draco and nodded with determination. “Alright, I’ll bring you a Weasley.” He then shook his head with a smile and looked at the ceiling above. “Why is it always me?” Then turned on his heels and apparated.

 

Draco was smiling as well, trying to calm down his heartbeat and turned around to apparate to somewhere, where everything will be much harder to handle than it was before.

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

He didn’t have to look for Blaise at the apartment.  
When he arrived he already heard a voice say:

 

“Draco?”

 

So he turned around – not caring about his stomach ache, his shaking hands. He turned around to look at his childhood friend. His best friend.

 

Draco examined him. His face, his skin, his eyes and he felt the disgust in his belly. The sickness could be seen on Blaise. And he still hadn’t seen the symptoms. He had been a blind man.

 

A foolish man

 

But he tried to manage a smile. For Blaise. He tried very hard it to be a happy smile but he felt it didn’t reach his eyes.

 

It didn’t because if nothing changes then–

 

Draco’s lips started to tremble.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” Draco was suddenly aware of the blurriness of his sight.

 

_Tears._

 

Blaise stopped in his track with wide eyes. Everything stopped and Draco just only looked at him, not stopping the tears. He didn’t care about being weak, he didn’t care about being vulnerable because if he can’t change if the future can’t change then–

“Even with the quarrel,” Draco’s voice was quiet. “You’d still could have told me.”

 

Blaise didn’t look like if he regretted it. He only seemed just as scared as Draco was right now.

 

“You and Pans hadn’t wanted to travel all around the world,” he started. “I couldn’t tell you that I was dying. You’d have

agreed–”

Draco exploded.

 

“And why would that have been so much of a problem?” His voice quivered, his throat burned. “If I agreed, that is–”

 

“Because it would have been fake, Draco!” Blaise shouted from the top of his voice and Draco winced a little. “My whole life was fake after someone threw a long-acting curse at me during the War! You think I don’t know, what those kinds of curses do? They’ll take you slow–like, painfully and I feel it, – he pointed at himself with rage. “I feel it everywhere in every hour and I know I don’t have much time left.”

 

Blaise had tears in his own eyes too and his heavy painting turned his voice ragged and hoarse.

 

“I’ve had enough of being _fake_!” He spat out the word. “I’ve had enough living a worthless life with nothing in it!” Blaise pointed at Draco who was at the edge as well with his tears. “You know what I did before I was cursed? Nothing. I did nothing even though I had every opportunity to do something. Travel, give, help, run, breathe. I wasn’t a person who’d someone want to say hi to. I wasn’t someone who seriously helped anybody.” He laughed bitterly. “I wasted half of my life on something that mattered nothing. It was all for nothing and one year won’t give me a chance to prove life wrong–”

 

“That’s not true.”

 

Blaise freeze but Draco has started it and he won’t stop–

 

“Don’t try to make me believe this bullshit.” Draco was shaking with rage and tears ran down on his cheek. “Don’t you dare to say you didn’t help others. That you didn’t give, that you did nothing because Blaise Zabini you are my hero.” Draco felt more tears painting him with gold. “You were the brightest thing in my childhood. You showed me respect and honor and for Merlin’s sake Blaise, without you I wouldn’t be the same person that is now right in front of you. Do you know why I could bear my father? Because at the end of the day I knew you would be still there, making jokes, telling how your mom have found a new husband. Because you knew how hard it was for me, how he formed me, but you didn't let him. Not entirely and I am so grateful to you.” He took a deep breath – trying to steady his shaking voice – and wiped some of his tears away. “I am grateful because you helped me. Because you were there. Because for me, you’ve done more enough.” He took a deep breath and looked into Blaise’s eyes. “I am proud of what you’ve done. I am proud of who you are and I swear to Merlin, I swear to the most rotten Dark Lord who have ever existed in this world, that I’ll find you a cure.” Blaise flinched and covered his mouth in shock. Tears were running down from his eyes, on his cheek, on his neck. “If it’s impossible then I’ll create a cure. Because there’s no way I let you die.”

 

He was panting heavily, tiredly when he felt arms pulling him in for a hug.

 

Draco hugged his best friend back with force and he felt something in himself shift. He didn’t know what it was, he didn’t know what it meant.

 

But something shifted. Something changed.

 

And after so many years, he felt that his smile was truly happy and real.

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

  
When Blaise and Draco apparated back to the Manor, Draco almost recoiled by the sudden colorful lights.

 

“Holy Christmas!” Blaise yelled with surprise, looking around. “I thought you hated Christmas.”  
Before Draco could say something he heard a door open with a bang.

 

He looked at the direction just to see a brunette.

 

A very confused brunette.

 

“Can you explain why Relna’s decorating an atrocious Christmas tree in the hall at seven in the morn–” Pansy stopped when he saw Blaise next to Draco.

 

There was a minute of silence.

 

And then they were rushing towards the other. The Christmas light glowed on their hair, their clothes and skin, igniting them with magic. Blaise caught Pansy, pulled her close and kissed her like if the world’s about to end.

 

And Draco smiled smugly, like a true man who’d done his work flawlessly. Then he turned around the room, admiring Relna’s work. He truly needed to treat that elf so much better. Well, after this, there’s plenty of time.

 

But before that...

 

“There’s only Granger left.” Draco said it out loud.

 

“Granger?” Draco looked at Blaise who smiled like if he had seen an angel. Which he did, in a romantic way. Although Draco doubted the fact that Pansy was an angel. “As in Hermione Granger?”

 

Draco looked at him in incomprehension. “Yeah, I need to get her. Why?”

 

Blaise looked at him like if all of this was a joke and laughed delightedly.

 

“This is a small world indeed.” He shook his head in disbelief and a grin. “Granger lives in Moscow as well. With Viktor Krum. We used to go to the same restaurant.”

 

Draco couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe it. Everything was right at his nose.

 

He laughed hard because this was ridiculous and looked at Blaise with a smile. Pansy looked at him with a new look, that Draco hadn't seen in a very long time.

 

It was similar to Theo’s in a way.

 

“What do you think, Blaise?” Draco looked at him with a smug expression. “Think you can do me a favor?”

 

Blaise and Pansy smiled simultaneously and it was brilliant and terrifying at the same time, but it thrilled up Draco nonetheless.

He’d done for his friends.

 

Now it’s Harry’s turn.

 

  
**–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

  
  
When Harry opened the door, just to see Draco there, he was so surprised that Draco was amused.

 

Before Harry could’ve opened his mouth, Draco spoke up:

 

“Can I come in?” He asked sheepishly because his heart was beating too fast and too loud.

 

Harry still looked shocked and confused but nodded all the same. Draco stepped in the house that haunted his dreams and his future. He bit his bottom lip.

 

_I can change things._

 

_I will change it._

 

Harry closed the door and turned around to face him. Draco was looking into his emerald eyes. There was still light there. Not much but it was there.

 

It was enough to revive it.

 

“I’m sorry for yesterday,” Oh my, yesterday felt like if it was a year ago. “What I said, I didn’t mean that way...”

 

Harry looked at him weirdly. Like George did in the morning. Like if he was lying or if this whole thing was a trick nothing else.

But Draco couldn’t afford a trick. Couldn’t afford lies.

 

_So, here we are._

 

He wanted to spoke up again but Harry was faster.

 

“No, it’s okay.” He said and shrugged. “You were right. No one wants me to be the hero and that’s understandable.” Harry looked down at his feet. “I just wanted to try something. To see if it works. To feel–”

 

“Something?”

 

Harry looked up again and his eyes didn’t shine at all. It wasn’t working.

 

It won’t work if he’s here all by himself.

 

But then the door opened with a bang and both of them turned around to see what was happening.

 

Draco grinned widely when he saw Blaise who looked like a grinning maniac, holding Granger.

 

“Merry Christmas Potter!” Blaise shouted and he gently pushed Granger in. “Hope you like this present. It came all the way from Russia.”

 

She looked uncertain and frightened a bit but she smiled weakly at Harry who was frozen. Draco looked back at Blaise who winked at him and said:

 

“By the way, Relna said you should make a Christmas party at the Manor.” Harry and Granger looked at Blaise in incomprehension, but he just waved his hands at Draco. “All that decorating and shit, she said to make it count or else she’ll choose clothes.”

 

Draco laughed deeply. “Well, she did a fantastic job,” he shrugged. “I don't see why not.”

 

Blaise’s smile was blinding as he saluted to Draco and walked away, closing the door. Draco shook his head with a smile and looked at the confused looking magical people in front of him.

 

“You will make peace with each other,” Draco said earnestly. “I don’t know what the fight was about, but it needs to happen.”

 

Harry narrowed his eyes at Granger who winced and then he looked at Draco.

 

“How dare–”

 

Draco raised his hand to stop him and Harry’s eyes widened. Draco only looked at him with his severe eyes, leaning closer to him.

 

“It won’t worth it, Harry.” Harry flinched when Draco used his first name. “Trust me on this. It will kill you if you lose them.” A broken light appeared in Harry’s eyes. Draco turned to Granger who was looking at him with her intelligent eyes. “I wanted to say sorry to you as well. I was a spoiled child who had a horrible father in a horrible household with many horrible traditions.” Granger's eyes widened in shock. “You are truly amazing and one of the most talented Curse breakers the world has ever known. I hope we can make a fresh start.”

 

He held out his hand to Granger and so many memories were appearing in front of him, he couldn't even count it.

 

Granger looked at his hand and then looked behind Draco. At Harry. Now, Draco couldn't see what face Harry was making but when Granger looked back at his hand and took it, Draco hoped it was something remarkable.

 

“I hope it too, Draco.” Her voice was gentle and Draco smiled because he felt lighter. Like if one of his problems escaped from the mess that was in him.

 

Then the door behind him opened again, with a so loud bang Draco recoiled.

 

“Draco you son of a bastard!”

 

Draco smiled and turned around.

 

“Well Theo, what a surprise.”

 

Theo looked like he’s just escaped from an asylum. His hair was a nest, his clothes didn't even look like clothes at all and his left eye was twitching.

 

With a very angry and red and confused Ron Weasley at his side, Draco might add.

 

“You!” Theo pointed at Draco and then at Weasley. “You owe me so big Draco Malfoy, you have no idea! This red animal almost killed me–”

 

“Now now, this is a bit extreme–”

 

“I miss some of my hair, Draco!” He pointed at his head. His eye twitched again. “I know you don’t see it but I hella do.”

 

Draco sighed loudly and raised his head, defeated. Theo pushed Weasley into the house then looked at Draco again with his twitching eyes.

 

“So now if you excuse me,” he adjusted his robes. “I’m going to drink my _morning_ tea because some _people_ don’t know what manners are and are just waltzing in every house they see.”

 

Harry snorted and looked at Draco. “Tell me about it.”

 

Draco just smiled at Theo and waved his hand at him. “Thank you, Theo! I’ll make sure Santa brings something you want!”

 

Theo snorted and turned around. “Well then, tell him I want some peace and quiet with enough tea time for Salazar’s sake!” Then he closed the door.

 

When Draco turned around he saw Hermione, Harry and Weasley uncomfortably looking at the other, not saying anything just sulking.

 

And Draco had enough.

 

“Oh for Theo’s sake!” He threw up his hands with aggravation. “You are a family! You were always there for each other, always loved the other even in the hard times. All of you had a bond. You still do.”

 

Weasley narrowed his eyes at Harry. “It’s his fault. He can’t stay put, all he wants is danger.”

 

Draco was taken aback and then everything blew up.

 

Hermione raised her hands up, trying to steady the things. “That’s not entirely true, Ron and you know it–”

 

Weasley laughed bitterly and pointed at Harry who was looking at his friend like if he has been slapped. “But it is! I wanted some peace for a while and you wanted to work peacefully too. He was the one who always wants do something that could kill us all–”

“Ron.” Hermione’s voice was steel but Weasley didn’t stop.

 

“I can’t follow him into the blind danger ‘Mione, I can’t do suicide missions! Not now not ever again–”

 

“Ron!”

 

“You and I weren’t meant to do stuff like this – you know that – and if he couldn’t understand that then–”

 

“So what?”

 

Everyone looked at him. At Draco, who felt his hands shaking, who raised his head with justice with something entirely else.

 

“So what if he seeks danger?” He started and stepped forward, in front of Harry, looking at both Hermione and Weasley. “What if he wants to live excitedly? What if he wants something wild, something breathtaking and fatal?” He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t you think that’s because he’s used to it? This adrenaline, this rushing life that he had been constantly in all of these years?”

 

Hermione paled but Weasley just blinked at him.

 

“If that is the case,” the red-haired man started, “it doesn’t change the fact that I wouldn’t follow him. Neither would Hermione–”

 

“But you could have been there for him.”

 

Both of them flinched.

 

“You could have talked to him, supported him, helped him, but no.” Draco’s voice was wrathful. “Look at him now. Was it worth it?” His eyes were beastly. “The danger, the exciting life, full of love, full of happiness, that’s what makes him _alive_ ,” Draco remembered Blaise’s words. “A life where he has a reason. A life that is worth living.” He clenched his shaking fists. “That’s what makes him _shine_ and you took it.”

 

It was quiet after that and Draco had so much storm inside of him, he had to get out. He turned away from them and started to walk to the door.

 

“Make peace.” He said to the three Gryffindors. “If not, you’ll regret it in your whole life.”

 

“Where are you going?”

 

He stopped when he heard Harry’s voice. It was gentle, and it was for him and Draco’s heart melted a bit.

 

But the storm was messier and wilder and he couldn’t take it anymore.

 

“I need to make peace with someone too.”

 

 

**–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

When he saw his mother’s pretty hair and eyes he knew this was the hardest thing in any of the things he did today. When he sat next to her bed and started to apologize, held her hand, looked into her blue eyes, feeling his hands shake, that the breathing was getting tougher and tougher to do–

 

He cried.

 

He cried and shouted and yelled like a newborn baby, with a dangerously piercing pain in his heart, he cried while he told his dreams about the spirits, while he was telling what he did today. He cried and cried and cried and he knew Narcissa didn’t understand anything at all.

 

But when Draco looked up at her, into her big eyes and her gentle smile he knew the truth.

 

She looked like she understood.

 

Draco felt something light after that. Something light in his heart, in his eyes, in his whole being.

 

He didn’t know what it was, but when he looked at his mother, Narcissa caressed his hand and said with a pure smile on her face:

 

“You look like an angel.”

 

  
**––––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

  
“Hi, Draco!”

 

Draco spat out his hot chocolate and then furiously turned around just to find himself staring at Theodore’s smugly ass face.

 

“Got you!” Theo smiled like the devil and then pulled out a tissue from his pocket, handing it out to Draco, who accepted it with narrowed eyes. He wiped his mouth with it then took the tissue in his pocket.

 

He looked at his friend quietly and earnestly and said:

 

“What the fuck Theo?”

 

“I’m just having fun at your party,” Theo looked around, seeing Pansy and Blaise as there were dancing, seeing Hermione and Ron talking with wines and smiles on their faces, seeing Relna as she was offering the cookies from her salver.

 

Draco looked at him doubtfully. “Really? You look like a man who is hundred percent done with everything that has happened today.”

 

Theo didn’t even blink.

 

“I don’t look like I’m hundred percent done,” He looked deadly in his eyes. “I _am_ hundred percent done. Goddamnit man, why is it always me–”

 

Draco was not amused. “Is that all you have to say?”

 

“Nah,” Theo waved his hand and then turned his serious eyes at Draco. “It’s not.” He stopped for a minute. “I don’t know what happened to you in one night but what you did today was amazing.” Theo gave him a childishly happy smile. “You got back to your true self.”

 

Draco was too shocked to move or breathe.

 

“And who is that?”

 

Theo shrugged like a five-year-old child and smiled. “Someone who is the coolest. Someone I am very proud of.”

  
  
Draco freeze along with his heart. Theo laughed and ruffled his blonde hair then walked away, towards Hermione and Weasley.

 

Before Draco could’ve woken up, Blaise appeared in front of him with a big smile.

 

The dark skinned man patted Draco’s shoulder with love. “How’s my best person?”

 

Draco smiled at him and then looked at Pansy who was waving her hands at him with a big grin on her face.

 

“I feel pretty good actually,” Draco said with true honesty. “Better than I’ve ever felt.”

 

Blaise happens looked genuine and Draco felt lighter and lighter. Then Blaise let go of him and pulled out a big scroll from his bag and gave it to Draco with a hesitant smile. Draco took it and examined it.

 

He froze.

 

“Is this the theory of your cure?” Draco asked quietly.

 

Blaise nodded and touched his neck nervously. “You see before your father died we talked and he figured it out that I was sick. He began to search for the cure – saying it was because he liked me – but it doesn’t exist. So he wanted to make one for me, but as you know,” Blaise shrugged weakly. “He died before he could finish the process. I wanted to finish it myself, but I don’t understand these things. So I thought I’ll show you this. Maybe you can do something with it.”

 

Draco looked like if he was out of breath. He gripped strongly the scroll and looked at Blaise with big eyes, full of happiness.

 

“I can make it,” he pointed at the paper with his chin. “I can cure you with this.”

 

Blaise was petrified. He couldn’t react so Draco attacked him with a hug so strong, he was afraid he had broken Blaise’s bones.

 

“You’ll live!” Draco gave out a joyful laugh. “You son of a bitch! You healthy bastard! I knew I’ll die before you because of the food that Relna makes.”

 

“Master!” Relna looked at him and Draco quickly let go of Blaise and turned to his house elf. He raised his hands reassuringly and smiled at her.

 

“The food is heavenly, Relna,” he started. “That’s the problem.”

 

“I can propose to her.”

 

Draco froze.

 

He slowly turned back to Blaise whose chin was still down with shock.

 

“I can propose to Pansy.” He whispered to Draco whose heart was beating heavily with joy, surprise, and proudness.

 

Draco smiled at him warmly. “You can.”

 

Blaise’s smile was as big as Draco’s Manor.

 

“You need to be my best man.” Blaise pointed at him then hugged him strongly.

 

“Careful,” Draco whispered to his ear. “Theo could hear it.”

 

Blaise laughed loudly and then stepped away from Draco, but before he started to walk towards Pansy, he stopped and turned around.

 

He had the strangest look in his eyes and all he said to Draco was:

 

“Thank you.”

 

Draco smiled and hushed him. “Just go!” He said and Blaise gave him a thumbs up.

 

Draco shook his head with happiness, that was when he saw him in front of the Christmas tree. How could he not notice him earlier?

 

Harry.

 

He saw his striking green eyes, as he was looking at the tree and Draco gathered the biggest courage that was left of him and started walking.

 

“Hi.” Draco stopped next to him and smiled at him.

 

Harry looked at him with a smile too and Draco’s heart fluttered.

 

“Hi.” He said and then nodded at the Christmas tree, at the room. “Everything is really beautiful. You did a great job, thank you for inviting us.”

 

Draco laughed a bit. “Actually, my house elf made all of this. She is amazing, isn’t she?”

 

Harry had a strange look on his face but he nodded. “Yeah, she is.” He turned to look at the Christmas tree again. There was silence after that.

 

But then:

“Why did you do it?” Harry asked, not looking at him.

 

Draco furrowed his brows in incomprehension and looked at the Christmas tree.

 

“What?”

 

“I’m not a fool, Malfoy.” Harry started. “Bringing back Hermione and Ron... I know it was your idea. So why did you do it?”

 

Draco saw the images of the future and he shut down his eyes to vanish all of it. He didn’t want to see those memories.

 

“You had nothing in your eyes.” Draco started quietly and even with the music, he knew Harry could hear him very well. “On that day, at the cemetery. You were barely alive.” Draco clenched his fists, still not opening his eyes. “I couldn’t see you like that. I had to do something.” Draco sighed aloud. “I know it seems crazy. To do something like this because of those reasons, but–”

 

“We’re really alike, Draco.”

Draco flinched a bit and opened his eyes. He still didn’t look at Harry though.

 

“What do you think why I visited you at the cemetery?” Harry asked. “Besides the fact that I wanted to do something, trying not to think about the fight between me and my friends?”

 

He was afraid. After all the things he had been through, Draco was still afraid.

 

“Why?” His voice was quiet.

 

“Because you had no light in them as well.”

 

Draco’s heart stopped.

 

“What you did today– what you did for me – said about me,” Harry’s voice was the gentlest thing in the world. “No one has ever done this much for me. No one. You made me feel something again, you gave my light back again but that’s not the most admirable and beautiful thing about you because there’s this tiny little thing: You saved yourself with your own light and that’s the hardest thing to do in life.”

 

Draco couldn’t move. It was–

 

“Your light was brighter than mine, Draco.” Draco felt he could see Harry’s smile. “It glowed so gloriously I had to close my eyes and catch some of the lights that were coming out of you. That made mine breathe and alive.”

 

“I noticed your light long way back Harry,” Draco said gently, slowly turning to Harry. “It got tangled in your hair, you know. Crowning you.”

 

When he saw Harry’s look, Draco felt his breath catch in his throat.

 

Harry looked at him like if he was all his world. Those eyes looked at him with pride and gratitude and hope and joy and

 

_love._

 

“I noticed your light too.” Harry said and gently kissed him.

 

Draco’s hands were sliding into Harry’s hair as he was pulling him closer. Harry deepened the kiss but before Draco could feel more about the firing warmth, the storm that was both of them, Harry moved to his cheek and pressed a kiss there, then along his jawline and then stopping everything with a chaste kiss and Draco could. not. be. think. it. will. be. ever. enough.

 

And when the both of them looked into the other’s eyes, Draco saw twin light. Glowing with life, hope fire and snow and–

 

That was when everything blew up.

 

Everyone was cheering and clapping and was giving out whistles and catcalls, but not just for them. Draco was as Blaise hugged and kissed and danced with Pansy – who wore a ring with a red gem on it.

 

Draco remembered something and he turned to Harry.

 

“It won’t make sense but Cedric Diggory wanted me to tell you it was not your fault and he’s proud of you.”

 

Harry’s eyes deepened with a deep, sorrowful emotion but then it changed into something else.

 

“How can you possibly know this?” Harry asked with a little, thoughtful smile.

 

Draco looked at the Christmas tree with a nostalgic smile. “Let’s just say I had the strangest dream in history and nobody can beat me at that.”

 

And Harry laughed and hugged him and kissed his cheek and Draco felt his heart will explode.

 

And as he looked around, seeing his new life, his smiling friends full of happiness, seeing Harry with fire and light he felt something.

 

He felt this the whole day.

 

He felt light. So much lighter.

 

Like if–

 

Draco’s eyes widened.

 

Like if every chain that he forged in life just had been removed off him.

 

 

 

**––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––**

 

 

 

  
And Draco couldn’t see but Lucius Malfoy was smiling at the distance, seeing that his own chains were coming off of him as well.

 

 

 

  
THE END

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it my adorable–evils! ;)
> 
> Music that I used:  
> Position music:  
> O Tannenbaum  
> God rest ye merry gentleman  
> Ode to the joy
> 
> Lucius Malfoy's theme:  
> 03\. Marley's Ghost Visits Scrooge - Alan Silvestri (Album: A Christmas Carol Soundtrack)
> 
> Fred's theme:  
> 04\. The Ghost Of Christmas Past - Alan Silvestri (Album: A Christmas Carol Soundtrack)
> 
> Cedric's theme:  
> Deck the halls – Nat King Cole
> 
> Draco and Harry's theme:  
> I Found You, You Found Me – Rachel Currea
> 
> Draco's theme:  
> Jóhann Jóhannsson - Flight From The City
> 
> Draco and Blaise's theme:  
> We Are All Astronauts - Ether
> 
> Byeee!! Love all of you!!!


End file.
